The two faces of humanity

Life comes around like a train at times, through the morning light with passengers and hellos and goodbyes, nice to see you, and till we meet again, life comes around like bullet points on a bad presentation, re-enforcing conformity, re-admitting the power of persuasion, the power of the group over the individual again and again. The followers win say the men in power looking for their own security, the followers get a's on spelling tests, and are rewarded with paychecks, says the market of over saturated products. Money can fix every broken heart, says psychiatrist, waiting to hear stories upon stories of confessions, as if they are the new age preachers. Life is but a mix up between wires will say the philosophers, waiting to be realized in half dreams given to them by students. It is weird how we all live in a world of make believe imagining who we should be and why, explaining how we are not the people we know we are. We are not bisexual, I would never kiss a man, says many gay men. I am not in love with myself, will say many leaders. I am not who you think I am, will say many people who are too easy to read. and we live through these lies telling ourselves we are protected by them, these fears of doom that plague our household, waiting patiently like dogs on our front steps. These fears of never being good enough, and our true moments of sex, of crying, of anger, of love, will become someone else's judgement. What a stalker, will say those who have never let anyone in. What an over-reaction, will say those who think they know what suffering means. What a lie, will say those who have always lied. It is odd, how our two face paradox of how we want the world to see us, becomes someone else's pain, someone else's feelings of being left out, when it us who can never admit to the truth.