waiting like a dead woman

 I feel my heart go, grow down my hair in long lines, like snake heads. I hear the hiss, and the rattle, and I am squirming again, begging another man to give me more than I am worth. I am trying to find the change I say to the back of his head, an approval that will always be beyond my reach. I hear my heart beat, as it whimpers. I have fallen from the stars says my body as my life is torn from me again and again, like a paper doll cut out, and I am forced into the clothes I have never worn. I had kept them in my closet for all those years so the diamonds wouldn't roll off.  I am back inside of four walls, the beginning of every building block. I swear this time will be different, I will find my voice, I will hear the beat of my own wings, flying higher than before. and then I see the clothes that are still sitting, unworn, waiting like a dead woman.