It’s all written from his point of view.
I walk into work, I am twenty minutes early but it doesn’t
bother me, the place is pretty laid back. I am actually rarely earlier or on
time but when it comes to work I like to consider myself dependable. That being
said my head has almost been on the chopping block here for things that were
never my fault. It’s just all these different perceptions that go rattling
around, and it’s impossible to please everyone. If you saw my boss you would
understand.
There are a couple of good looking young girls who work with
me. If you like them young and bouncing, with not much wit or morality. They
might be dumb but I watch the way they can make a man scrub out a few bucks for
their cheeky grins. But I tend to find beautiful women anywhere, just the other
week squeezing oranges some girl caught my eye. I can’t really say why though,
wasn’t anything she said, or wore that day. She had an ugly oversized top on,
with a pretty medium size chest. It was just that look like she wanted
something. I assume of course that she wanted me, I mean really who wouldn’t. I could have gotten her number done her that
night, if I was really you know thinking between my legs. But I had other
things on my mind that day, and for some reason casual sex isn’t the same as it
used to be. I am getting worn out, the charm has lost its sparkle, that kind of
thing. I am still a man though, I have urges, I watch the play boy channel at
least twice a week on mute the whole time. And I grunt and piss at once. But
meeting and greeting has dragged me down, they come in, they go out, they leave
a smelling thong on your drive way, blah.
I would rather spend
my life doing more meaningful things. Like these boys that I am helping Taylor and
Glenn. Don’t let this boy next door face fool you, I am really making a dent in
the world one child at a time. In addition to me changing the world and
becoming a great upstanding role model within my community, it’s a great pick
up line. I mean what girl doesn’t melt when you tell her you are helping an
impoverished child with only a single mother. I mean if I was a girl I would be
wooed. Hell I would have been wooed at hello, the rest would have just been
icing on the cake. I am defiantly husband material. Screw you slutty x-girl
friends who told me in domestic disputes that I can never make a woman happy,
watch and weep.
So anyways back to what I was saying I just walked into
work, twenty minutes early. The coffee shop was about half filled which is
great for me. I like to browse, think, umm not talk to customers. I mean I do
when there is a serious dispute, I am a great mediator and I can calm down very
angry people with a nice firm smile and a false apology, but most the time I
like to keep to myself. It just makes life easier that way. So I was quite
relaxed when I noticed the half empty coffee shop and browed through the tables
towards the back, where my co-worker was making someone’s order. Just moseyed
on through there looking mostly at people’s eyes, from my last dumped
girlfriend I realized that woman know when you stare at their chest, even in
brief second intervals. So I purposely try not to do that, unless of course
they have a huge chest and then I just scream mayday and let my eyes go where
they want to. I mean you can only sink once, am I right? Anyways so I was
keeping my eyes at eye level, when I noticed my co-worker making coffee. She
was wearing short shorts, and a low cut shirt. (I honestly don’t remember what
she wore, except for the really short shorts.) I mean they weren’t just shorts
they were if those get hiked up any higher underwear, or no longer there, or
what the hell, you get the idea. And her shirt was low, making her figure just
scream sex. I swear I didn’t walk into that coffee shop with a hard on, but if
I stood there any longer, lets just say I would have gone straight to the
bathroom behind me. Just by the way I love that bathroom. I could have sex in
that bathroom, but being that I am an all star employee that never crossed my
mind. Well, okay maybe on slow days. I mean who designs a one person huge
bathroom and doesn’t think about that, facture it in, plan for it. Think about
airplanes their bathrooms are like two times smaller and people have sex in
them all the time. If I owned that shop, I would have had sex in that bathroom
at least five times by now.
Oh and so I said hello to her, actually I told her she had a
great outfit, can’t help but pass up a little tongue and cheek moment, plus
girls love to be admired. She kind of looked at me funny so I followed it up
with, it just is like something you would wear. Honestly I don’t know what the
hell she wore the entire time I have known her, but later tonight I will be
able to tell you the color of the strips on her blouse. Yes, I took it in like
a detective. Now if only I had a photographic memory I would never pay a cent
for another playboy. Sometimes you see those freaks on tv and you think gosh it
sucks to be them, and then in these moments I take back those words chew them
deliberately slow, so I don’t chock, and wish I was some super genius freak
that stood out.
But of course that’s not my life so I sat quietly next to
the other guy who works at the coffee shop, he is an idiot. Not that I like
throwing people under the bus, but I do when they deserve it. I roll over them
and then feed them to the sharks. He thinks we are friends. I am quiet, what am
I suppose to say? Hey loser I don’t like you. I am too nice for that, so
whatever, I mean I just let it roll. I guess that’s kind of what work is all
about, learning how to distance yourself from guys that you can’t stand. I have
a lot of practice in that my brother is my boss. Not to say me and my brother
don’t get along we do, we are just two completely different people. Here is a
great example, there is this girl who I kind of like, kind of hate, kind of
think she is a dork, but whatever I kind of like her, right. So we were kind of
getting it on over the phone, and my brother calls me. Being a great brother I
pick up on the other line thinking it is some kind of emergency. He called to
tell me it 12:05 and he just ran out of peanuts. Really, really. I mean really.
That’s all I have to say. But I love him, and I think deep down he loves me, he
just has a funny way of showing it sometimes.
Anyways so I sat down next to the other guy. I really had
nothing to say and wasn’t in the mood to talk to them, but I smiled and nodded
and pretended to be engaged. I don’t really know what they were talking about I
stared towards the front of the shop, I noticed a girl with an oversized
painter’s hat and glasses looking at me from the corner of her eye. (that’s me)
She had a sad downward glare and looked away as soon as I noticed. I don’t know
if she was checking me out, but I assume so. I attracted many different kinds.
I wish I could use that as a slogan for a marketing campaign for women all over
the world. Wouldn’t that be cool? Date me, because I am attracted to many
different kinds. No that wouldn’t work, I sound like fish farmer or a date
grower, who has a variety of plants in their backyard. Ohh, I will store that
idea for later, once I really hit my stride.
I considered going on the bachelorette show but I just
figured it wasn’t fair to the contestants, there is only one of me and so many
of them. That and I didn’t exactly meet the height requirement. But you know
short woman need love to, I don’t know when America because so judgmental
towards the disadvantaged. Anyways being shorter, I am not short but shorter, has its major advantages. I will not
name them all right here but trust me. I have a very long list in my back pocket, and there
was a really short porn star. (ron Jeremy?)
So, I was thinking about if I was really going to sit there
for twenty minutes as these two talked to each other when my co-worker, the
girl, turned towards me.
So started classes yet, I asked.
She yawned, soon.
Well what classes are you going to take? I know this is dry,
but what do you expect this is just my kind of foreplay, dry crisp and crunchy.
I like to hear the emotions just chip and then ooze with desire. That and I
really am this dry. I have liked this girl for a while, not emotionally. She
isn’t the kind of girl I could see myself spending all night talking to, not
like I am that kind of guy. Can you see me in a teddy rob and a facial talking
about my latest nightly drama while painting my toe nails? No I didn’t think
so. I do have a penis, thank you. Anyways I could see us fucking. I didn’t
really like her, but that outfit had completely changed my mind in five seconds
flat, that and she is yippy. I can just see us having sex I would have a built in cheer section, and afterwards she
would just zip around me and right out the door. That or she would stay. But it
was a chance I would have to take, if she would show any sign that she wanted
all this and the bag of chips for later.
But her signs had been a little mixed of late, her eye
contact wasn’t all there. And I swear I wasn’t just staring at her private
parts, I have been eye level the entire time. I deserve some sort of award for
that amount of self control, given her breast were speaking to me in about
fifty different kinds of foreign language. They all had
that same needy please touch me, look at me caress me, take me out of this package
and play with me. No, I did not look down, not even once. Okay maybe once I
dropped my phone, accidently, it just flew out of my pocket. And that quick
gaze on the way down was like looking at the earth’s 8th wonder it
was hard for me to pull myself out of that cavern of mystery and not rush to
the bathroom for a quick rub down. I was saved by hitting my head on the way up,
it was like a cold shower, sweet mercy.
So she looked at me, do you want me to respond.
What I said dumb founded making sure my phone hadn’t
accidently called anyone.
Do you want to know what classes I am taking?
Of course of course. I said forgetful that I had scored
myself an opening line to her heart and soul, or just a five second run down of
her superficial existence, which will be apparent when she drops out of college
and becomes a stripper. Anyways, I was all ears.
I am taking, beginning English, 101 chemistry, and an erotic
class.
Really, erotic class well umm, be a gentleman I told myself,
well umm that should be interesting.
Yes I figured I would learn when chivalry began.
Well hopefully you are up to the challenge.
She looked at me as if she wanted to say more, drool of I
want you so bad dripping from her lip and then she turned away to finish someone’s
coffee drink.
I looked at my watch 10 more minutes of this are you kidding,
I thought. How am I going to be able to focus on anything else but those tits
and legs for my entire shift, I have to get out of my head. I am taking 10 I
said and got off the stool.
I walked passed the girl in the hat who was staring at me
earlier, but her head was down and I couldn’t see her eyes. I think I know her
from somewhere but I can’t put my finger on it.
I walked back in and began my shift as normal, completely
relaxed. What did I do for that 30 minute break, I took an extra 20 minutes in there figured I was worth
it, I am not exactly sure, but the time went by fast. I walked in unarmed,
cooled down, limp and ready to start what ever was ahead of me, which was
mostly stirring up a batch of coffee. So I was doing what I usually do when
there is nobody around, stirring, looking handsome behind the glass countertop,
umm that’s about it. Basically staying out of trouble, when the girl with the
hat approached me. She had tears in her eyes and I realized I knew her. She was
an old friend of mine we hadn’t talked in quite some time.
Hello I said in my warmest welcome, I do like women to feel
comfortable around me to just let it all hang out and out and out and then
later when the bed is made she can put it back in behind those lacy bras they
wear. Anyways, I gave her my cheerful grin and she was about to burst into tears,
right there in the middle of my
coffee shop. At first I was shocked. What I said, as I saw one stream of tears
retake its form and run down her nose.
I have had a hard week she said softly. I thought maybe if I
saw you… and her words ended.
Well I said in my best be the best man you can be grin, I
hope you feel better, puffed out my chest and looked like I was doing something
important. She looked like a wreck, what was I suppose to do lean over and give
her a hug? I was in front of customers, clients, and the bombshell behind the
coffee maker, are you crazy. I like to
think of myself as a nice guy, but I am not that nice.
So deflated and with her car keys in hand she turned to
leave the coffee shop. The door swung like her words, melchonly and with little
thunder. I watched it waiting for her to
come back in to explain to me, why she was sad, and if everything in her life was
okay, if there was anything I could do but she didn’t come back.
(this is the additional possibility I created)
Suddenly possessed with another entity, I really haven’t
been myself at all lately, I jumped over the counter and out the door, leaving
the pin up girl with her jaw hanging. I then ran to the girl who was walking to
the car. What is wrong? Why are you so sad, I asked genuinely concerned and
because I cared.
I have just been beaten up lately, she said and leaned over
and hugged me. It was the warmed hug I have felt in ages. It was like butternut
cream and blueberries. What happened?
I don’t want to talk about it she said. But I know girls
better than I know my own junk when they say they don’t want to talk about it,
they always do.
You look beautiful I said. And pulled her hair behind her ear,
and I remembered a moment years ago when we were alone and I said the same
thing.
She smiled and I knew I had touched her. I leaned over and
kissed her in the parking lot in the middle of the afternoon.
You smell like coffee beans she said.
I know I said kissing her neck, I am one part coffee bean
one part man. No I didn’t say that, I just smiled and kept kissing her.
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